Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Killing me softly... still requires a funeral.

My least favorite expression is “kill them with kindness.” I have such a visceral reaction the first time I hear this expression, I can conjure the very moment I heard it and the in-law that said it. I believe there are specific rules of warfare that ban this particular modus operandi. Kill them with kindness? Sneak attack? Killing is NOT kind, period end of story. The pig with lipstick is still the pig. If I can see your sharpened, gleaming shank as your voice lilts and your toothy smile approaches me, you are clearly unkind and cruel. If I react, out of terror, I may appear to be out of control- but at the end of the day you are still evil, you still did the killing. No? Most certainly. Perhaps some were fooled along the way. I have been, and then some. Killed with kindness-is that like Agent Orange, Tobacco campaigns, The Defense of Marriage Act?

The flip-side of this is "You're dead to me!" I have very close and wonderful relatives that have presented this model. Naturally, I grew up believing this to be perfectly normal and rational. It works much easier if you also believe in life ever lasting and reincarnation or something close in nature. This way if you are dead to me now, there is always opportunity for you to come back to life at a later date. It might be much later, but that's hope. Something to work towards. Possibilities abound, remember? I have been dead to others, and I am feeling pretty darn spritely. With no other choices, I have had to determine someone "dead to me", or at least in a coma with round the clock care, just not provided by me.

Karma, fate, destiny. These concepts easily work there way into all and any relationships and circumstances. Someone you don't like has a problem? Karma, bad karma. No questions. They got what they deserved. Someone you like has a problem? "It's meant to be", which translates to "something good will come out of it", or simply, fate. Yet in all this, killing with kindness just doesn't gel. It's malicious and psychotic to say the least. Killing with kindness gives me the willies. It's taking God's work into your own hands. We can see circumstances as gifts or plans from a Greater Being. We just can't do the work for Him or Her. But that's just me. Stay with me, "You're dead to me" just frees my life from you-it doesn't take yours away. See?

I have been severely wounded by "kindness" or falseness. I am recovering, quickly, happily and peacefully. I have a few favorite expressions, killing with kindness is not among them. Destiny? Oh that's yet to come. I am looking forward to that one. It's going to be amazing. I can feel it and see it coming into view. And it is going to be some serious good karma- I have made my way through some sort of purgatory and I am heading towards Nirvana.

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