Saturday, August 18, 2012

Palm Reading and Peace In My Future

Last week my daughter and I went to see a psychic. I’ve been toying with the idea for awhile, just for kicks, and maybe the receipt of a verbal agreement describing my destiny.  You know when there is great churning and change or stagnant stillness and you just start to wonder what the Universe has in store for you?   I'm looking to maybe decide whether I should buy the extra bathing suit on clearance because, just say, I might be moving to the Caribbean to become a wholesale conch shell dealer in three months, where I will meet my soul mate and live a life of calm and steel drum melodies?  Or maybe you decide to hold off paying that bill because the money you had set aside for it, is used to buy dinner at Luigi's where you run into your best friend from college and you decide on the spot to open that whirligig business you both always dreamed of?  And then you purchase the winning lottery ticket for the Powerball jackpot of $367,379, 081 with the change because the  psychic said something cryptic about Italian food and chance and now all of your bills are paid in full.

So my lovely and charming daughter decides to come home for a visit and we have a wonderful time.  She visits friends and hangs out with her sweet baby brother.  She charms me with her beautiful smile and everyone else in her path, because that’s just the kind of smile she possesses.  God, did I ever have a smile like that?  I’m going to try one on, because, man, that kind of smile can drop people to their knees and have them begging for mercy and offering to take you out for dinner at Luigi's or working overtime to vi for the chance to be your soul mate.  It’s also the kind of smile that just emanates radiance and some kind of glory.  You can’t help but feel calmed and aglow when that hits you.  That’s the kind of visit we have so of course we decide to cap it off with the visit to the psychic. 

The psychic is conveniently located near her apartment, and there's that smile, so I certainly can't help but drive her home, rather than put her on the train.   The waiting room at the psychic's locale also functions as an art gallery space which seems like a good sign.  She just had a spectacular art opening and I’m using art to process a few big and heavy bits and pieces of myself in the world of late.  The psychic appears to be stoned or maybe his hooded eyes are just a professional hazard from closing your eyes to bring in the light, or power, or spirits.  But I kinda think he was just high.

He offers a few different readings; palm, tarot and maybe mind, I can’t recall.  My daughter announces “Palm”, when he asks, I go along with this request.  Tarot sort of scares me, the cards don’t lie.  But the stoned guy?  He could be making everything up.    He begins.  First I have to place my palm on the table.  We are in the back corner of the room with dividers up to shield us from my daughter?  She is about 7 feet away and can hear everything.  The dividers just make it dark and mystic-like I suppose.  Except he can’t possibly see my palm, not the lines in it anyway.  He asks me to leave it on the table.  He glances at it once, and then its just there, awkward and curling the way hands do when they are placed on a table palm up, they start to curl, sort of like those really cool, plastic, filmy, fortune telling fish, remember those?  Well there’s my palm not being read and the psychic begins to reveal things to me.

He reveals …. “You like to travel and do a lot of shopping.”  I have a tan this summer.  I have worked this body tan like nobody's business.  I have been outside and horizontal in eight different states this summer.  I have been outside and vertical pushing a lawn-mower.  I have been outside a great deal.  This is not the kind of tan one would associate with Albany, where we were, or Rhinecliff, where I live.   So, the travel piece, a safe guess.  The shopping, wrong.  I wouldn’t say I like shopping.  I don’t generally have money to just shop for the pleasure of it, but I’m not certain if I had the Powerball jackpot funds I would like it that much either, but who knows?  I would be willing to explore this.  Next he starts to stumble around my children, "You have four children right?"  Wrong again.  "But there is a boy, a young boy that spends time with you?"   Ummm  Noooo.  "Maybe one of your children is expecting?"  Noooooo.  "You have 2 daughters?" Nope, only one.  Moments later he asks if I am concerned about my other daughter, the younger one.  Noooo, because I still only have one.  "Oh your son, you are worried about him, but he is good, a smart boy, you don’t need to worry he is very good.    Your husband and you…" Nope.   "You’ve been having trouble, not very don’t agree on…"  Nope, as in no husband… "Oh but there’s someone else, I see him, he’s not being clear, he’s holding back, you want more,  I see someone tall."   Hmmm, well, nah, and definitely not.  "Oh, you aren’t ready, it’s not really a good time, maybe in a year or two, this is time for you to find peace."  Ok, maybe he has something here…."I see someone in 3 or 4 months.  He will be tall and in real estate."  Huh, I thought a year or two, but ok, tall and real estate…  alright.  I’m up for that. 

My daughter’s reading was just as telling.  She has 2 friends, well yeah but she has more than 2 and there aren’t two in particular that are the very best, she revealed she was an art student he “read” that she works with her hands…  He did tell us that we are looking for peace, that prayer is good, that eating healthy diets was something important for us to continue working on.  We hadn’t really started but it’s certainly something to start taking a little more seriously. 

I have been looking and working and practically demanding my next steps from the Universe lately.   And well, I just don’t have much clout with the planners of the Universe or the planners of much anything.  And all that working and nearly demanding neverrrrrr  goes over very big.  I was somewhat relieved that the Universe provided that great big doobie to this palm reader.  Otherwise I might be packing my bags and waiting to get on the end of Haley’s Comet or whatever great big comet is flying through in the near future if he was on his game and revealing anything remotely close to legitimate.

I think the message that was found in my palm between all of those daughters and the tall men that are hiding out close by or coming soon, was the message I have been fighting myself and the Universe about.  (Which might explain my clout around here.) I have been moving so fast and furiously  in fear that if I stop, I will not be able to get up again.   I have not permitted peace or calm to enter or even come close, in fear that it would engulf me.  I have been in fear of being incapable of caring for my children or myself if I slowed down for even a moment.  I am finally, maybe, ready to trust the Universe and slow down ever so slightly.  My daughter is smiling in that way she does, again.  Her sweet baby brother is not such a baby and finding his own way.  I got us through, we're good.  I can stop running so hard.   Funny how we lose sight of the knowledge that the Universe always has our backs.  Peace, prayer, more water, healthy foods.

I’ll be 98 when Haley comes back, It’s never too early to plan for the future right? I'll be working on that smile and house-shopping, or realtor shopping in the meantime.  Oh MY God, shopping!  He was right!  I guess I do like shopping! 

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