Hippocratic Oath for Parenting

There are questions regarding the precise authorship of the Hippocratic Oath. Some scholars believe it to be Hippocrates, others believe it may be Pythagoras. Whomever the Greek philosopher that originated this doctrine, I wonder if he, or his wife or mother had any thoughts about an oath for parenting. Do No Harm- Ouch.

Parenting seems to be a series of potentially harm-producing acts to stop thousands of negative behaviors while attempting to nurture, teach and prepare offspring for survival. A small task. Simple really. There are a few ways to go about it. Look back and do all the opposite things your own parents did to find out they did a lot of things correctly to begin with. Do everything the same way your parents did to find out some things were in need of change. Don’t do much of anything- let your children decide their own paths. Do everything in your power to make their lives free from any harm while in your charge- life gets hard but your children are special and fragile little beings, do everything for them, about them.

I took an erratic approach, unintentionally. Each new event somehow presented itself with the clarity that told me I had no idea what on earth I was doing. I parented from the gut at times. Other times it seemed to come from the bowels (of hell), still other times from Dr. Spock, or Dr. Brazelton. I took tips from parents I admired and took aim with those I felt were clueless or harmful on some level or another. At times, I parented with the intensity of a S.W.A.T. Commander. I tried to do it with kid gloves, hugs, smiles, and an open ear. I took a creative, earthy approach. I slipped and did it with rage or disappointment, and tried again with patience and care.

I may have caused harm. I hope none too irreparable. I imagine none of us go into this with “intent to harm”. I looked into the original Hippocratic Oath and stumbled upon the modern version that I took liberties with and applied some parenting language. Perhaps it will be helpful to others:

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:
I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.
I will respect the hard-won non-scientific gains of those parents in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow (aka my children).

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.
I will apply, for the benefit of the young, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overindulgence and underhanded criticism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.
I will remember that there is art to parenting as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the parent’s scorn or the parent’s fear.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.
I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my relations, friends, colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a child’s upbringing.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.
I will respect the privacy of my children, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death (especially during those turbulent adolescent years). If it is given me to support and nurture a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life (insert I brought you into this world, I can take you out….) this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.
I will remember that I do not parent an extension of myself, an unlived dream or goal, but an individual human being, whose individuality may impact the future, great and small. My responsibility includes these related factors, if I am to care adequately for the child.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.
I will prevent harm whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cause.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.
I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the dependent and young.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.
If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of parenting those who have been blessed upon me.

Maybe we will all still continue to stumble when deciding: Bottle or breast? Schedule or no schedule? Are television, snack food, video games, harmful? What’s a decent bedtime? When can they go into town or the mall alone? When can they start dating, driving, working? Is it harmful to provides sweets or harmful to restrict them? Oh well, try your best not to do harm, provide balance, admit defeat occasionally, dust yourself off and get yourself back in the game. It is after all one of the most demanding and rewarding experiences you can ever imagine and it goes by so quickly, but I'm realizing it stays forever.

"Primum non nocere" translates to “First, do no harm”. Maybe second could be clause- If you caused harm, attempt to recognize it and repair. Maybe there could be some vague and nebulus language around harm.

And grandparenting seems to be the time to make it all good, if time and interest allows.

Errare humanum est but remember,minima maxima sunt To err is human, but the smallest things are the most umportant.

Per Aspera Ad Astra - Through hardships to the stars.

And when all else fails... Quae nocent docent - Things that injure teach.